Hey there,

I thought of opening up a piece of myself to all of you.

Lately, in the process of rediscovering and reinventing who I am, a break that I take to know myself a little better.

It has become so rare to keep up with myself given my full-time job yet I cherish doing this activity. It’s exactly when my mind and body agree with my schedule, urging me to delve deeper, I find my peace in putting my pen to paper

//here, keyboard to my notepad makes right sense 😉

and pouring out my heart. It’s during these rare moments that I truly come alive, where I find my comfort in the intimate dialogue I have with myself through writing. There’s an indescribable feeling of liberation that washes over me that time.

Today, Reflecting on the not-so-distant past, I recall a time when positivity radiated from every pore of my being. My goal in life was simple: to spread joy and keep those around me happy. I seldom shared the inner tornadoes beneath the happy surface; the tough times remained tightly guarded while the brighter moments were shared. My love for people I cared knew no bounds; it was mostly rooted in authenticity and never transactional. I believed that happiness multiplies when shared, just as sorrow diminishes when kept within until it fades away. I think that’s where I proved my beliefs wrong. I’m learning!!

With the exception of my closest confidants, with whom I shared the darker aspects of my life that were within the depths of my being. Even they, at times, were unaware of the storms raging beneath the calm exterior. I must admit, I’m a terrible liar; my family and closest friends can easily see through any facade I attempt to escape. I’ve tried to mask my emotions, but my face expressions betray me every time. I try but I don’t think I am going to get any better at this.

I’ve to confess, I’ve made mistakes. When confronted with hard conversations, instead of facing it head-on, I often retreated into solitude until the pain subsides. Hide for a long time until I am completely ready. Yet, I’m beginning to realise that true strength lies in vulnerability, in having the courage to address conflicts with honesty and openness. It’s a scary prospect, to be sure, but one that can truly deepen connections and nurture authentic relationships.

Once called “Dr. Positive,” I feel compelled to share a truth that often goes unspoken: even the most happy souls have their moments of darkness. It’s a reality we all must face—the ebbs and flows of life, the highs and lows. While it’s tempting to conceal our struggles behind a facade of unwavering optimism, I’ve come to a conclusion that true healing comes from acknowledging and embracing every part and phase of our being.

Life is too short for regrets. I’m on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance, and I make a vow to myself: to embrace every part of who I am, unapologetically. Learn from my mistakes, forgive myself and others in that process. To start new.

“It’s the seemingly insignificant moments—the ones we often overlook—that hold the power to shape our lives in profound ways.”

Consider this a glimpse into my inner world, a phase captured in the pages of my dear diary.

I’ll continue to share these musings as they come, each one a reminder to reinvent and rediscover oneself. Until next time, dear reader, may you too find the courage to explore and rediscover the depths of your own soul.

With Love,
Niha ❤️